Let be me clear: Neither 2K Sports, nor their parent company 2K Games (Take-Two Interactive), is in jeopardy. There is no fall of the Roman Empire on the horizon; if anything, 2K is in a Pax Romana of sorts. If you’re in need of a refresher, 2K Games publishes Civilization, BioShock, Borderlands, and tons more. Their Steam catalog isn’t anything to scoff at. And, in the realm of sports, the NBA 2K games have essentially cornered the basketball video game market for two reasons: one, they’re good and two, EA Sports’s basketball games are horrendous.
Special to Game Losers by The Class Conscious Gamer
“Remember, terrorism is the surgical strike capability of the oppressed. Keep on keepin’ on!”
–Man selling T-shirts, Slacker, 1991
As an Anarcho-Foyeurist and political radical in general, I thoroughly believe politics penetrates every corner of the mind and every facet of society. As such, I do not believe there to be a single work of art or creation of man untouched by some form of ideology, no matter how small or how big. To this end, today I’ll be writing about what I have analyzed to be an underlying ideology in the 1999 video game “modification”-cum-retail product Counter-Strike, colloquially referred to among gamers as Counter-Strike 1.6.
One of the main themes in the history of Nintendo is “ahead of its time.” Take the Virtual Boy, the largest hardware failure in the history of consumer gaming. It took over a decade for the stereoscopic 3-D Nintendo was so keen on to become marketable, in 3DS form. Or take the Game Boy Advance-GameCube Link Cable, which Nintendo pushed harder than just about anything else. It got released about ten years before cross-platform connectivity became a buzzword.
But what about our obscure friend, the e-Reader?
I had one. I still have one. It still works. I still have a couple of Animal Crossing cards that it’s still perfectly capable of scanning, even though it takes a few tries. But it was pretty unwieldy. It took several cards to start up an NES game, it took two connected GBAs for some features, and a GBA-GCN connection for some others.
It caught on in Japan but never in the USA or Europe and it was discontinued by 2004. Why not? Was it because keeping track of all the cards and their respective games was too difficult?
Was it because it wasn’t practical to release things that had little to no intrinsic value (except as collectibles) when separated from their associated games and functions?
Maybe it was because many of the cards themselves weren’t really necessary for the games they were tied to. I guess we’ll never know. For the record, e-Reader cards themselves are now highly collectible, as any __________ card becomes after enough years.
I don’t think anyone wants my crinkly Tom Nook one, though.
This isn’t the case of revisiting an old favorite. I’m playing DK64 for the first time. I missed out on it when I was a kid, not because I didn’t have a Nintendo 64 (I did), and because I didn’t have the necessary Expansion Pak (I did). I just missed out on it. Continue reading This Kong’s One Hell Of A Game, Part I→
Bony Kong is popular at Halloween, because he is a skeleton. Inexplicably, he is a human skeleton, but no one asks questions because it’s not evident he was ever alive to begin with. He is Donkey Kong’s great uncle and he makes a cameo in Donkey Kong 64 but only if you remove the cartridge from the system right as a character dies.
Money Kong is Funky Kong’s twin brother, but as far as Funky is concerned he does not exist. Whereas Funky is a gun-toting leech of the state, Money–that dirty capitalist–pulled himself up by his bananastraps (though no one really knows how) and actually owns the ocean that surrounds Donkey Kong Island. He was primed to be the star of Donkey Kongopoly, a cancelled Game Boy Color game that was bogged down by legal issues.
Nanny Kong is Cranky Kong’s mother, remarkably still alive. Rumor has it she signed a deal with the devil for immortality, which would explain why bees fly out of her mouth whenever she speaks. She doesn’t speak much, for the record. Her first appearance was actually in the Japan-only Kamisama Shindeiru, a collectible noted for its similarity to the later Super Smash Brothers series.
Dark Kong is…I’ve probably already said too much.
Prissy Kong is Money Kong’s selfish and entitled daughter. Her and Dixie have often gotten into fights, with Prissy going so far as to call Dixie “Bougie Kong.” She and her father are not invited to the annual Kong Family Reunions. A likely reason Donkey Kong Country 4 never happened is because the plot involved Prissy getting lost in her giant mansion, which is where most of the levels would have taken place.